Squished

iPod Ralph

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 05:07:00 +0000

National Sarcasm Society

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Sun, 30 Dec 2007 09:59:00 +0000

Writers Guild On Strike

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 19:13:00 +0000

California is Burning

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 20:03:00 +0000

World's Largest Man Made Twister

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 20:16:00 +0000

Video Games Cause Violence - Not Redux

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 01:40:00 +0000

Stackable Fruit

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 08:38:00 +0000

Retards: We all know one.

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 00:27:00 +0000

Google Lunar X Prize

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 20:59:00 +0000

The Power of Books

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 20:03:00 +0000

Forklift Driver

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 20:01:00 +0000

Team Fortress 2 Trailer

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:28:00 +0000

Multi-Tasking

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 17:42:00 +0000

Waldo

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 21:53:00 +0000

Panda escape

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:41:00 +0000

Lego Josh

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 00:39:00 +0000

A Creation Myth

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 00:57:00 +0000

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:"You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family For this, I will give you a life span of sixty Years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that i s why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

RSI: Rhyme Scene Investigations

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 17:43:00 +0000

Pac-man

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 21:37:00 +0000

Minesweeper: The Movie

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 20:01:00 +0000

After the Monkeys Died

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 09:18:00 +0000

Fiction by Jeff Harrell

Hurricane at Sea

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 09:03:00 +0000

For Those Who Take Life To Seriously

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 23:25:00 +0000

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is, like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I intend to live forever - so far so good.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

Get a new car for your spouse - it'll be a great trade!

Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.

Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

Fish Food

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 01:40:00 +0000

Bruce Campbell is Awesome

noreply@blogger.com (josh) — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 08:50:00 +0000